My "Vacation"

So, even though I'm not crazy busy now that institute is over, I do not have the internet in my apartment which makes keeping up with this just as impossible.

Now that I've had over a week to relax and chill out a bit after institute, I've been able to reflect a bit. I still think it was a horrible, horrible time in my life that I definitely would never repeat. But I also realized that I did learn a lot, meet some amazing people, and have a few really great experiences. Even so, I've been pretty miserable since Institute has ended. There aren't a ton of people around right now, which doesn't help the cut-off feeling I have from not being online all the time. My apartment is HUGE but empty, which is sad. I'm also extremely broke after having spent nearly all my life savings on the down payment for my car (Carmen Elantra- I'm so funny!) soooo going out isn't really an option. Today is also the second time that I've planned on going to rugby practice, only to find out that it's been cancelled. (Damn rain!) I've still been running on the treadmills at my apartment complex, so at least I'm somewhat active nowadays.

I think that I've done a lot of growing up since I got here though. I'm doing a lot of things (and paying for a lot of things!) for myself for the first time. Even though I felt pretty independent at Rutgers, when it came down to it, I was still only 20 minutes away from home- and I knew that my parents not only could but would bail me out of any rough situation I got myself into. Even more than that though, some of my interactions with other corps members have made me reflect on some of my less-mature traits. Seeing something in someone else that others have been trying to help you see in yourself is a lot more... something. I'm starting to learn that even though it feels like all of things things are happening to me, things are just happening. You know what I mean? Like -pardon my French- shit happens. That doesn't mean that I am a victim all of the time or that the world is going to end. People have it easier and harder than me and I just have to play the cards I've been dealt. I mean, don't get me wrong- I already knew this, but now I seem to actually be internalizing it.

Anyhow, I'm trying to enjoy these last few days of having time to myself before I'm immersed in unit plans and bulletin boards. And even though it's being interrupted with some training sessions, I also have a visit to look forward to from one of my most favorite people of all time! (Let's hope for Karina's sake that I have the internet before she gets here!)